Tesi

The Barefoot Author

Walking Gently Where This World and Imagination Meet


The Cracks Let Out the Light

Published by Tesi under on Saturday, September 08, 2012
I found this in my Celtic prayer book last August, but last summer was full of love and dancing, so I am not sure I really got to process it thoroughly. Today, as I read it again, I'm reminded of the vulnerability of walking barefoot through the world. Opening yourself to picking up thorns along the way. To feeling what you walk through without the protection of shoes. It feels like the same idea to me...what about you?

"We are called to intentional, deliberate vulnerability." Rule of the Northumbria Community

"I had a vision of a house. Every time a crack appeared in the wall, or damage in the house, I dashed out to repair it as quickly as I possibly could, like most of us do, so that the inside of the house was protected and kept safe from the weather and the storms. And the Lord said to me, 'This is what your Christian life is like. Whenever any cracks appear in the wall that has been built up around about you over the years by the world and by yourself you dash out and fill in the cracks so that no one is able to see what is inside. But i want the world to be able to see what is inside. I want to be able to come in through the cracks in your life and I am not going to fill them up either, I am going to flow in and out of these cracks. So when you see the cracks appear in your life, do not rush out and fill them in. Let Me come in."
                                   David Mattches

I know I have filled cracks. Even after God has flowed into them, I've patched them up carefully so as to prevent anyone from seeing that I had cracks that God had to come in through. But if the cracks are sealed, God can't shine out of them, can He? Be weak, for then He is strong? Glorify Him in your weakness? Admit what you cannot do--let others see you admitting it--so that when you do more than you can on your own, they know it to be God? It's not a fun thought, but maybe it's an important one?

I was reminded again this week how scared I am of being out of control of my emotions. Instability is one of the things i hate the most, because I feel like a failure when I can't be immediately available to everyone who needs me. But more and more I'm reminded that instability is human, and if I want to help those who experience it, I can't say ANYthing if they think I'm always in complete control. Hard thought, but maybe an important one? 


 

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